Even a Fool

It's that moment.  That second that it hits you.  That feeling of wanting to melt into the ground and never be seen again.

The time you said something you shouldn't have said.

Not that I've ever done that before.

It happens to me on a fairly (ok, fine. VERY) regular basis.  Something that is supposed to be witty or insightful turns into a verbal train wreck.  Too often I find myself sympathizing with a song that's been running through my head:

My stupid mouth has got me in trouble. I said too much again...

And I could see that she was offended.  She said, "Well, anyway..."

Just dying for a subject change.

Thank you, Mr. Mayer, for putting into words what I feel on a daily basis.  It's frustrating to say the least.

I've been hearing a lot about talking lately.  At youth group last week, we discussed the power of words.  One of the verses we read was Proverbs 18:21:

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

How true!  Even the smallest statement can make or break a conversation, a situation, or a life.  Problems occur when I don't take the time to consider each and every syllable that leaves my lips.  Words have the power to tear someone down or build them up.  Oh, that I would understand the weight of my words. :)

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

"Even a fool is thought wise..." This is a big statement when taken in context with the whole book of Proverbs.  Proverbs talks a lot about fools - and not in a nice way.  Fools are, essentially, some of the worst people on the planet, as well as the most dangerous.  Their stupidity, laziness, and thoughtlessness is criticized over and over again in Proverbs.

"Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent..."  It's an extraordinary phrase.  Even the people that Proverbs points out as complete idiots are thought to be wise if they hold their tongues.  Obviously, holding my tongue is a big deal.  

I think one of the main forces behind my problem with words is the desire to please others.  Once again, Mr. Mayer says it quite eloquently:

So maybe I try too hard.  But it's all because of this desire.  I just wanna be liked, just wanna be funny.  Looks like the joke's on me.  So call me Captain Backfire.

I'm human.  I want people to like me.  I want them to think I'm funny and smart.  The problem is that this  desire, my want to please humankind, too often comes before my desire to please God.  I'm so scared of what other people will think of me.  I "try too hard" to say things that will make others like me.  

The funny thing about being scared of people is that, ultimately, their opinions don't matter.  When I stand before the judgement seat of Christ, his opinion and only his opinion will matter.  Whether or not my name is written in the Book of Life is what truly counts.  He's not going to ask, "So, did everyone down there like you or not?  Were you well-loved, popular, and an all-around good kid?"  No.  My prayer is that my Savior will look me in the eyes and say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  

I'm sitting here on my couch, thinking back to all of the dumb things I've said lately.  I'm extremely comforted and encouraged by the fact that my mistakes are covered by the blood of Christ.  But at the same time, I realize that learning to control my tongue is a part of sanctification.  It's a part of learning to become more and more like Jesus everyday.  It's not a struggle that will be gone tomorrow, but thankfully I have Someone who's walking (and talking) me through every step. In the end, I want to be a faithful ambassador for him - someone who shines the righteousness of Christ with her every breath.  And tonight, I'm taking time to realize that this is just part of the journey.  Holding my tongue is one way to glorify the One who gave his life for me.  

And like Mr. Mayer says, I'm starting now. 

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An Ever - Present Help

Last night I stayed up late just worrying.  And praying.  And stressing.  And tossing.  And turning.  I started thinking about how I am possibly going to get everything done that needs to get done in the next two months.  Just when I thought my life couldn't get busier or crazier, things started piling on again.  Don't get me wrong, it's not necessarily bad stuff it's just...stuff.  And a lot of it.  


This morning I read in 1 Samuel about David after all of his family was kidnapped and all of his possessions taken away.  

"David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters.  But David found strength in the Lord his God."

So perfect.  In the middle of complete chaos, David trusted in the Lord.  He found his strength in his God.

Then I read in Psalm 46 which was perfect as well.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging."

"God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts."

"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.  The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."

He is my ever-present help.  He is with me constantly.  He voice alone melts the earth.  He is my fortress.  Everything is in his control.  

Yesterday I had this song stuck in my head:

I was playing it over and over and over again in my brain and trying to get it to go away.  I hate when songs get stuck in my head. :) And then I actually thought about what it was saying...

"In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed."

Conviction.  Talk about conviction.  I get so stuck in my little messes - homework, piano practice, trips, etc.  I forget how much I am blessed.  I am blessed beyond comparison and that thought helps me keep my chin up and feet on the ground.  I think that I'll let that song stick in my head today - I need that reminder constantly. :)

If You Want Me To

Breathe.  In.  Out.

Ok, I'm good now.  This week's been rough and today has been even rougher.  Coming back from break is always a smack in the face and this was no exception.  Tests (ACT and chem :P), music (faulty piano performance), and squabbles (drama, anyone?) have been filtering through these past 6 days and it hasn't been pretty.  Maybe it's all due to the fact that it's the end of the semester.  Or maybe there's a reason.  A plan.  A bigger picture.

I was driving to my grandparent's house this evening when this song came on:

I've always liked this song.  The theme behind it is beautiful.  But today I was really getting into it and ended up playing it over and over - mainly so I could sing along.

After about the second or third time through, I sang the line:

"So if all of these trials bring me closer to you, then I will walk through the fire if you want me to."

It clicked.  It honestly made sense.  I felt peace.

I've been trying to justify every hard thing in my life.  "This is a result of your bad choice.  Suck it up and move on."  "The world is just unfair.  There's nothing you can do about it."  

But what if there's a reason for all of this?  What if it's all happening because I am loved - not just because I am a sinner or because the world is hurtful?  Maybe God loves me.  Maybe he wants me close to him - closer than I am now.  Maybe he'll do whatever he can to get my attention and grab a hold of my heart.

Maybe, just maybe, all of these trials are here to bring me to the cross.  

Definitely.  

I will walk through the fire.  I must.  It refines me.  It teaches me.  And most importantly it brings me into the arms of my precious Savior.  

I started writing a song this week.  The chorus goes:

"I'll trust and hope and give my all for the things that I can't see.

I'll stand my ground in your steadfast love when this world overwhelms me.

And I'll give my life for the promise of true gain.

So Father, bring the rain."

And that is the cry of my heart tonight.  Even if it hurts.  If I get burned.  If I get lost in the valley.  If I get drenched in the rain.  It will come.  It must come.  Because I must be close to Jesus.  Nothing else matters.  Bring the rain, Jesus.  Draw me to yourself.

Faithful Thus Far

Today I read in 1 Samuel about David.  Just a simple shepherd boy who knew there was something bigger than himself.  Just a little brother who was braver than his big brothers.  Just a child of God who's Father had great plans in store for him.

As David was getting ready to fight Goliath, he told Saul:

"The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine..."

David understood something that made him brave:  The God who had acted in the past would act again.  God had fought for David in the little battles with the lion and the bear and he would fight for him in the big battles with Goliath as well.  We can trust that no matter what happens, he is on our side and he knows what he's doing.  He who was faithful before will be faithful again. 

This means that I can have faith that He will come through for me.  Looking back at my life thus far, I can see the many, many ways that God has acted in my life, through the good and the bad.  I can let go of my life and let him take control with full confidence that he will take care of me.

I love the lyrics to this song:

"God you know where I've been. You were there with me then. You were faithful before. You'll be faithful again.  I'm holding your hand."

Let the waters rise.  I will follow You no matter what. 

I Will Rise

Easter.  It's been a while.  Last year at this time, I was living in Georgia.  I had left Fiji just a few months prior.  Thoughts of whether to move home or go back were surfacing...causing pain and doubt...and making me wonder where on earth I was heading.  How was God working here?  What was the plan?  I wanted a map with my destination circled in bright red marker.  


Today I'm in the same place.   True, my life isn't quite as in-the-air as it was back then.  I'm back in Colorado.  I have a house.  I'm back at my church.  Everything worked out for good.  


But at the same time, things hang in the balance.  From a decision about college to a decision about what to make for lunch, there's so many questions flying at me at once.  It's hard.  It's stressful.  It's beautiful.


It's beautiful.


He makes it beautiful.  My life isn't a random chain of events that tumbles into a story of sorts.  He is weaving a tapestry.  Every thread, every question, every bend in the road is another piece to the puzzle.  


It's beautiful.


More than 2,000 years ago, a man had a picture in his mind.  This man was Jesus.  The picture was of me.  As he hung on a cross shuddering from pain, barely rasping out a breath, he had me on his mind.  I wasn't just an afterthought.  I was the goal.  He was doing this for me. 


It was beautiful.  


Grace entered the world when he conquered death.  It is finished.  I am justified.  I am His.  


How does this apply to the present?  It means that I can trust Jesus.  He is completely worthy of my trust in every area.  College, music, youth group, family, school - it's all in the very palm of his hand.  The hand that took a nail for me. 


It means that he is worthy of sacrifice.  He is worth choosing over anything else.  I am his slave and must give my all for the one who gave everything for me.


It means that I can face tomorrow with my chin up.  This morning at church, the choir sang "Because He Lives" and it speaks perfectly to my life right now: 

"Because he lives I can face tomorrow.

Because he lives all fear is gone,

Because I know he holds the future

And life is worth the living just because he lives."

Life is worth the living...every step, every breath, every moment is worth it for him.  He chose to save me and in doing so, gave my life worth and value.  I can trust him with the future.  My every minute is in his hands.  Through hurt and doubt, he is with me.  Through joy and peace, he is with me.  He is the hope I must cling to.

And in the end, I will go to be with him.  I will see him face to face.  The promise of Easter - life after death - will become a reality.  Oh praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

I will rise.  Praise you, Jesus.  I will rise. 

You Alone

As I said in my "About Me" tab, I love music.  Lots.  And I like to write my own music.  When I get the chance.  And record it.  This is the result of such circumstances...

The song is called "You Alone" and I wrote it a few weeks back.  It was a Sunday and I had just gotten home from church.  My pastor had talked that morning about worldliness and how it can creep up on you if you're not careful.  When we choose to become friends with the world, we become enemies of Christ.  It sounds harsh but its true.  God cannot look upon evil, so if we are his children we must be completely consumed by him.  Any worldliness that we allow to seep into our lives can and will tear down any spiritual fortresses that we have.  So I wrote this song because I realized that I don't want to be that person.  I don't want to let little things into my life that will take me down eventually.  I must realize that Jesus is enough.  And not only that, he is MORE than enough.  He can and will satisfy every need if we turn to him and not to the world to fulfill our desires.  As I think about that fact that he has truly lifted me from dust and ashes, I can't help but say yes to him and his salvation.  When I know his heart and he knows mine, there is no room for anything else.  Thank you, Jesus.  You truly are enough for me. 

Daydreamin'

It's Monday again.  Funny how that day seems to roll around faster than you can scream "weekend!!!".  I'm having second semester blues.  Aka, I am SOOOOO ready for school to be over and summer to arrive. 

I'm looking forward to...

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Summer bike rides. There's nothing quite like cruising along the trails while the sun sets. It's awesome and I miss it.  'Nough said.

I'm looking forward to...

Swimming...as long as it's not of the swim-team variety.  :)

I'm looking forward to...

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Summer picnics...eating outside...inhaling barbeque smoke....all that jazz. There's nothing quite like those random, spur-of-the-moment dinners with friends when you all sit out in the sunshine and chow down on summer-y food. Watermelon, anyone?

I'm looking forward to...

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More time to read my Bible...I treasure those moments on the weekends when I can sneak off to a coffee shop and enjoy my devo's without thinking about all the tasks for the day.  I can't wait for a little more time to head over to the park for some extended time with me, my Bible, my journal, and Jesus. :)

I'm looking forward to...

Hanging out with friends and family!!! :) Random coffee dates, walking around Old Town, drive-in movies and all that good stuff.  I miss it a lot and I'm looking forward to it...a lot.

So as I pound out these last weeks of school, I'm clinging to this verse:

"Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded.  For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told." - Habakkuk 1:5

Even when I struggle with why I need to do that last Calc problem or finish well on that paper, I will trust that God's purpose is very much alive and at work in my life.  And even though it's not summer, I can rejoice that he works through the good times and bad. Here's to hoping that those good times come soon! :) 

The Gift of a Second Chance

Here I am.  I made it to Saturday.  Again.  Life lately has felt so monotonous.  And tiring.  


Anyways... This week I failed in many ways.  This was made even more clear to me when I was reading my Bible this morning and came across this verse:


"Only be very careful to observe the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments and to cling to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul." - Joshua 22:5


As I compared my actions this week to this verse I felt pretty lame.


This week, I didn't love Jesus with every piece of my heart. 


This week, I failed at keeping his commandment to love others.


This week, I clung to this world when I was afraid or hurt instead of clinging to him.


This week, I walked away from his ways by saying things that shouldn't have been said.


This week, I let what I "felt" take over instead of remembering that my soul belongs to Christ.


This week, I served myself and my emotions instead of serving the One who died for me.


2,000 years ago, a Savior died so that this week would be redeemed by his grace.


He is a God of second chances.  Isn't that a beautiful thing?  And his grace, his glorious grace, is greater than any sin I could ever commit.  


Today I will rest in that grace and give thanks that his mercies are new every morning.

Peace in the midst of...life

Life has been crazy for the past couple of weeks.  From skiing trips to last minute flights to 7-page papers to random choir tryouts, everything is going at 100mph.  Its so easy to lose focus.  So easy to make excuses for grumpy moments or short quiet times.  


For my birthday, my mom gave me a book called A Blossom in the Desert.  Its a collection of thoughts and watercolor paintings from the journals of a faith-filled woman named Lilias Trotter.  Today I read this:

God speaks so through all living things.  Last time it was through a rushing mighty wind that filled the valley.  The trees took it in such a different way.  They are nearly all juniper and eucalyptus, and their different natures so came out under it.  The junipers, tough and stubborn, only moving when by sheer force they had to move, and that in an ungracious combative manner, springing back instantly to their former position.  The eucalyptus, on the other hand, had every leaf so posed that not a breath passed unheeded - while a litte gust would ripple and toss their heads about, and a stronger one would sway their very centers.  When the breath died down, instead of a willful rebound like the junipers, they would just relax and hold still - still enough to catch again the first whisper of the wind.  It was such a pictures of the "minding of the Spirit" which is "life and peace," while the junipers stood in control as those who "minding the things of the flesh" are "not subject unto the law of God."  One does want to be sensitive to His every breath.

In the middle of a crazy life, I must learn to lean on God and be very, very sensitive to his voice.  Without his guidance I know that I will lose my way quickly.  So as this week continues and I get up early, run around all day, and crash into bead at night, the cry of my heart will be that I have peace within my soul and that my soul will be attentive to his voice.  When my soul is attentive to his voice, I can hear what he says, receive it, and allow it to change my life.  Only when we listen to his gentle whisper can we know what he has for us.  

You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you.

                                                                                              ~ Romans 8:9

But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.

                                                                                              ~ John 16:13

  

Songs and Thoughts...

I like music.  Love it, in fact.  If it weren’t for the fact that I’m easily distracted (mainly when doing homework), I would listen to it or play it or sing it 24/7.  The melodies and lyrics touch a special part of my heart and emotions and help me to calm down, focus, get excited, etc.  I tend to get attached to one song for a while and then another.  These songs are my life’s “soundtrack” and they range from a cheesy country song to something I wrote to a favorite worship song.  Its fun to look back and see what songs I identified with and why.  I really think God has used different songs or random choruses to encourage me and show me different truths. 

A year or so ago, I heard "The Beauty of Grace" by Krystal Meyers.  Now I know that it isn’t the most musically “correct” song or anything like that, but the chorus is what spoke to me. 

“Anywhere you are, it’s never too far away.  There’s freedom from your scars, the mistakes that you’ve made – forgiven.  The memories erased.  Baby, that’s the beauty of grace.”

You see, after moving to Fiji, God started to open my heart and walk me through who I really was inside.  I was broken and it was hard to come to grips with.  I had always been the person who had it all together – the girl who knew what she was doing and where she was going.  But going to Fiji showed me how broken and in need of a Savior I really was.  Seeing the brokenness around me hurt as well.  I remember talking with a friend after a youth meeting about all that he had been through.  As he described the pain and sin he had dealt with I thought more about this chorus and how important grace really is.  It’s the difference between life and death and nothing we do can change it.  I’ve been reading in Romans 8 and I love these verses:

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Romans 8:38-39

God’s grace is enough for me - what a miracle that is!  I started to grasp this concept in Fiji and (as Jessi can attest) played this song over and over and over again until it became real to me.  Nothing can separate me from his love and grace.

The next song that spoke to me was "Forgiven" by Sanctus Real.  At the time, I was living with my aunt in Georgia and I had the chance to go to a Sanctus Real concert.  I got the CD and listened to “Forgiven” a million times.  I love the line that says:

“In this life, I know what I’ve been, but here in your arms I know what I am – I’m forgiven! And I don’t have to carry the weight of who I’ve been ‘cause I’m forgiven.”

I started to realize that because I have God’s grace and because nothing can separate me from that, I can move on and leave sin behind.  I’m forgiven and I don’t have to live under the slavery of sin.  In Christ I am a new creation.

 “So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’”  - Romans 8:12-14

Fast forward to today.  Through reading my Bible and prayer, I’ve been realizing how personal God is.  He loves me.  Wow.  Its hard to imagine and even harder to process.  He looks down and, despite the bad things I’ve done, sees a clean heart.  A heart that has been washed in his blood and made white as snow.  Even when I’m struggling with what I’ve done or what others have done to me, I can have confidence knowing that his love and faithfulness doesn’t change.  And (feel free to laugh) the song (or mainly, the chorus) that has applied here is from a Taylor Swift song.  Yes, you can laugh.  The chorus says:

“It’s all right, just wait and see.  Your string of lights is still bright to me.  Who you are is not what you did.  You’re still an innocent.” – Taylor Swift “Innocent”

When I feel down, God sees his light in my life.  When I feel like a failure, God tells me that my sin doesn’t define me, He does.  In his eyes, I am innocent and pure.  This doesn’t excuse my sin, but it does tell me that I don’t have to “prove” myself to him – I am already justified.  What a beautiful concept.

So there’s a little snapshot of my life’s “soundtrack”.  What song is on your life’s playlist right now? 

A Shattered Life

Today I read something that left me changed.  It hit me at the core.  The lenses I look through will never be the same and the way I thing about the world is forever altered.  What I read didn’t leave me with warm fuzzies or rose-colored glasses. In fact, it was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever read.  To some it was probably insignificant – just another interview of a man with a broken life that has a similar tune to a depressing country song.  But not to me.  No, to me it was significant because it embodied the reason why chasing after this world never fulfills.  It showed the crushing heartbreak that sin and selfishness causes.  And today, as I read, I got a glimpse into the truly empty and hollow life of Billy Ray Cyrus – a man who has watched everything he knows fall to pieces.  Reading his interview showed me what it looks like to walk without Christ. 

About four years ago, a petite and pretty pre-teen girl showed up on the world’s stage to make a name for herself.  That girl’s name was Miley.  Miley Cyrus.  She wowed the public with her “Midas touch” as it seemed that everything she did was wildly successful.  From acting to singing to you-name-it, the brown-eyed beauty could do it all.  It was a marvelous combination of talent and marketing that turned into one of the greatest teen-star phenomenon’s of all time.  Little girls and parents alike looked up to her for her character and “good girl” status.  But, like many teens, she started to slip and a few “scandals” later, her “good girl” image was demoted to an “almost good girl” one.  From the outside, this looked like a typical teenage struggle – a girl just trying to get through a time in life that everyone knows is difficult.  But it was more than that. Much, much more.  And her father, Billy Ray Cyrus, would agree.

With a one-hit-wonder musical career and a fair acting career, Billy Ray had seen what the industry looked like and knew it well.  He eventually settled down (after a previous marriage or two) with his wife, Tish and took a bit of a break from the public world.  During that time, Miley came along, full of spunk and a natural knack for cheerleading and singing.  Fast forward a few years and Miley was with her dad in L.A., trying out for a role in Hannah Montana.  After much hoping and waiting, the Cyrus family finally got the call: Miley had landed her dream role.  The entire family uprooted and moved to L.A. – leaving behind the beautiful Tennessee countryside in search of fame and fortune. 

Instead of taking you through Miley’s journey from innocent pre-teen to promiscuous 18-year-old (since you probably have heard all you need to know before), I want to look at Billy Ray’s part in it all.  He was the goofy dad on Hannah Montana, the guy who thought he knew what was going on but didn’t.  In his daughter’s show, he was a passive father who, while doing well at the friend-side of the father-daughter relationship, seemed to completely miss the father-side. But the pattern of no discipline and passiveness didn’t just occur in the show, it happened in real life.  Even though the Cyrus family had it all – a mansion in L.A., fame, and fortune – they had no foundation to keep them solid. 

When it came to parenting, things weren’t as they should have been. As Billy Ray said in the interview, he took the hits for Miley’s mistakes and tried to ward off the media.  But instead of trying to prevent more “mistakes” from happening, he tried even harder to “be friends” with Miley and the rest of his kids.  He also said in the interview that he has “never been able to discipline his kids” and now “wonders whether that was a mistake”.  People told him that he needed to be a parent to his kids and now he realizes that they were right.  The combination of a lack of discipline and the non-stop pace of the celebrity life was eating at the Cyrus family.  “I should have said, 'Enough is enough—it's getting dangerous and somebody's going to get hurt.' I should have, but I didn't. Honestly, I didn't know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere."  Like a car with no driver that is moving at 100mph, the Cyrus family was going to crash before long.

And crash they did.  In fall of 2010, Billy Ray filed for divorce from his wife.  Miley’s scandals increased, forever destroying the “good girl” image that had once defined her.  At the tender age of 18, she seems to be following people like Brittany Spears down a tragic path of pain.  Not much has been said about the rest of the family but I assume that they are caught in the middle of it all.  Now, Billy Ray Cyrus sits at his kitchen table in his Tennessee mansion.  This is the table where his kids learned to color and where I’m sure many family dinners were shared.  He lives alone and often hears about the latest Miley fall-out through the media.  He has lost control of everything.  When he tried to call Miley’s “handler” about a recent scandal he was told that it was “none of his business”.  He says he’s now learning to “stand up for himself” but it doesn’t do him any good. Remembering how things used to be with his wonderful family, beautiful wife, and precious daughter brings tears to his eyes.  “Makes me so sad just to think about it”, he tells the interviewer.  He knows that this isn’t right.  In fact, he’d give away the fame and fortune in a second if it meant that he could have his family back. He even tells the interviewer that he believes, without a doubt, that Satan is attacking his once bonded family.  But instead of fighting back, he is at home, eating Lucky Charms and wishing for what was.  It is truly a tragedy in every sense of the word.  A beautiful girl, a loving father, and a wonderful family – all shattered because of bad decisions.  Each of the awards that grace the walls in his house represents a pursuit of happiness gone bad.  Without faith in a God who is greater than the world, he has allowed the world to overtake him and has reaped the excruciatingly painful results – results that are affecting him and those around him.  The voice of God is calling to him, telling him that he is loved beyond comprehension.  But he can’t seem to hear it.

Reading the interview hurt me.  I hurt for Miley – a typical teenager who is desperately searching for the love she can’t get at home.  But mainly I hurt for Billy Ray – a man who let life get away with him and now can’t find his way back.  But the plight of the Cyrus family isn’t unique. Actually, it can happen to anyone.  It can happen to me when I choose to follow this world over following Christ.  It can happen to me when I convince myself that the song of this world is sweeter than the love song of Jesus.  And it happens to those who don’t take a second to say, “Stop. This isn’t right.”  If it can happen to the Billy Ray Cyruses of this world, it can happen to us. 

So, I find myself on my knees.  Because I don’t want to be sitting alone at my kitchen table in 20 years, wondering where everything I loved went.  Instead, I want to be so caught up in Christ that this world and all of its pleasures can never get me down.  I want to fall so in love with Jesus that I can’t feel the pull of the world.   

And, Billy Ray, I pray that the same will happen for you.

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” -Ephesians 3:14-19