Today I read something that left me changed. It hit me at the core. The lenses I look through will never be the same and the way I thing about the world is forever altered. What I read didn’t leave me with warm fuzzies or rose-colored glasses. In fact, it was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever read. To some it was probably insignificant – just another interview of a man with a broken life that has a similar tune to a depressing country song. But not to me. No, to me it was significant because it embodied the reason why chasing after this world never fulfills. It showed the crushing heartbreak that sin and selfishness causes. And today, as I read, I got a glimpse into the truly empty and hollow life of Billy Ray Cyrus – a man who has watched everything he knows fall to pieces. Reading his interview showed me what it looks like to walk without Christ.
About four years ago, a petite and pretty pre-teen girl showed up on the world’s stage to make a name for herself. That girl’s name was Miley. Miley Cyrus. She wowed the public with her “Midas touch” as it seemed that everything she did was wildly successful. From acting to singing to you-name-it, the brown-eyed beauty could do it all. It was a marvelous combination of talent and marketing that turned into one of the greatest teen-star phenomenon’s of all time. Little girls and parents alike looked up to her for her character and “good girl” status. But, like many teens, she started to slip and a few “scandals” later, her “good girl” image was demoted to an “almost good girl” one. From the outside, this looked like a typical teenage struggle – a girl just trying to get through a time in life that everyone knows is difficult. But it was more than that. Much, much more. And her father, Billy Ray Cyrus, would agree.
With a one-hit-wonder musical career and a fair acting career, Billy Ray had seen what the industry looked like and knew it well. He eventually settled down (after a previous marriage or two) with his wife, Tish and took a bit of a break from the public world. During that time, Miley came along, full of spunk and a natural knack for cheerleading and singing. Fast forward a few years and Miley was with her dad in L.A., trying out for a role in Hannah Montana. After much hoping and waiting, the Cyrus family finally got the call: Miley had landed her dream role. The entire family uprooted and moved to L.A. – leaving behind the beautiful Tennessee countryside in search of fame and fortune.
Instead of taking you through Miley’s journey from innocent pre-teen to promiscuous 18-year-old (since you probably have heard all you need to know before), I want to look at Billy Ray’s part in it all. He was the goofy dad on Hannah Montana, the guy who thought he knew what was going on but didn’t. In his daughter’s show, he was a passive father who, while doing well at the friend-side of the father-daughter relationship, seemed to completely miss the father-side. But the pattern of no discipline and passiveness didn’t just occur in the show, it happened in real life. Even though the Cyrus family had it all – a mansion in L.A., fame, and fortune – they had no foundation to keep them solid.
When it came to parenting, things weren’t as they should have been. As Billy Ray said in the interview, he took the hits for Miley’s mistakes and tried to ward off the media. But instead of trying to prevent more “mistakes” from happening, he tried even harder to “be friends” with Miley and the rest of his kids. He also said in the interview that he has “never been able to discipline his kids” and now “wonders whether that was a mistake”. People told him that he needed to be a parent to his kids and now he realizes that they were right. The combination of a lack of discipline and the non-stop pace of the celebrity life was eating at the Cyrus family. “I should have said, 'Enough is enough—it's getting dangerous and somebody's going to get hurt.' I should have, but I didn't. Honestly, I didn't know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere." Like a car with no driver that is moving at 100mph, the Cyrus family was going to crash before long.
And crash they did. In fall of 2010, Billy Ray filed for divorce from his wife. Miley’s scandals increased, forever destroying the “good girl” image that had once defined her. At the tender age of 18, she seems to be following people like Brittany Spears down a tragic path of pain. Not much has been said about the rest of the family but I assume that they are caught in the middle of it all. Now, Billy Ray Cyrus sits at his kitchen table in his Tennessee mansion. This is the table where his kids learned to color and where I’m sure many family dinners were shared. He lives alone and often hears about the latest Miley fall-out through the media. He has lost control of everything. When he tried to call Miley’s “handler” about a recent scandal he was told that it was “none of his business”. He says he’s now learning to “stand up for himself” but it doesn’t do him any good. Remembering how things used to be with his wonderful family, beautiful wife, and precious daughter brings tears to his eyes. “Makes me so sad just to think about it”, he tells the interviewer. He knows that this isn’t right. In fact, he’d give away the fame and fortune in a second if it meant that he could have his family back. He even tells the interviewer that he believes, without a doubt, that Satan is attacking his once bonded family. But instead of fighting back, he is at home, eating Lucky Charms and wishing for what was. It is truly a tragedy in every sense of the word. A beautiful girl, a loving father, and a wonderful family – all shattered because of bad decisions. Each of the awards that grace the walls in his house represents a pursuit of happiness gone bad. Without faith in a God who is greater than the world, he has allowed the world to overtake him and has reaped the excruciatingly painful results – results that are affecting him and those around him. The voice of God is calling to him, telling him that he is loved beyond comprehension. But he can’t seem to hear it.
Reading the interview hurt me. I hurt for Miley – a typical teenager who is desperately searching for the love she can’t get at home. But mainly I hurt for Billy Ray – a man who let life get away with him and now can’t find his way back. But the plight of the Cyrus family isn’t unique. Actually, it can happen to anyone. It can happen to me when I choose to follow this world over following Christ. It can happen to me when I convince myself that the song of this world is sweeter than the love song of Jesus. And it happens to those who don’t take a second to say, “Stop. This isn’t right.” If it can happen to the Billy Ray Cyruses of this world, it can happen to us.
So, I find myself on my knees. Because I don’t want to be sitting alone at my kitchen table in 20 years, wondering where everything I loved went. Instead, I want to be so caught up in Christ that this world and all of its pleasures can never get me down. I want to fall so in love with Jesus that I can’t feel the pull of the world.
And, Billy Ray, I pray that the same will happen for you.
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” -Ephesians 3:14-19
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